两地暂别离，心系基督里

Praise God, almost having some problems with my internet connection.. Thought I cant blog tonite.. haha then it works!! haha.. something is wrong somewhere somewhat.. haahaa.. but God is good all the time!

Anyway, I'm happy right now! God is good. I am here to testify for God Almighty again!

I just want to thank God that He has created me even right before the foundations of the earth is laid! Hey it is theologically sound okie! hehe.. haha.. anyway, sounds weird rite. But I shan't expound on that topic now! It is a big topic on its own.

Just yesterday's late afternoon, I was still very upset over some struggle issues which I had not overcome, wondered why I was created (i.e. God, why waste your resources and time on me?! - note: the self-condemnation and deception Satan is putting in me) but when I entered into the presence of God at Covenant Vision Centre, I was so moved in the Spirit of God, I started tearing since the worship started non-stop until the last song "Worthy is the Lamb"..

Wah Sey, I cried buckets and buckets of tears man... really I was so so so so sad... But God was so so so so good and I felt the presence of God the Holy Spirit at that moment during worship ministering to me, comforting me and teaching what is God's responses to some issues in my troubled heart.

This evening's worship was sooooooooooooo anointed by the presence of the Holy Ghost! Amen Amen Amen! God is moving in the midst of us. Catch the anointing! Hallelujah!

The Lord showed me why I was very upset.. Three big issues:

1) My struggles, falling short of God's standard of holiness..

2) My issues with another brother which I had surrendered to God early on Thursday..

3) My fear of "losing" Brother Cam.. Seriously I was not ready to "lose" him and Brother Spidey until the Lord spoke to me this evening at CVC.

I had a phone chat with Brother Cam. He was sharing with me his work, he felt so tired with overwhelming affairs, other commitments and some matters in the heart. He was also telling his discipleship class is ending in June, SG is ending in December, what is ahead in the future. What is the Lord's wil for him? Going back to Malaysia? Staying? Broadcaster? Or what?

I shared his concerns. I too had a lot of worries and prayer requests in my heart, wanting the Lord to give an answer immediately... haha..

Let's look at the issues one by one...

1) I realised I had big issue with my struggles, my flesh is lusting against my spirit man. I know many times, I fell because I was　moving in the flesh and not in the spirit. I realised that I need to stand firm. God said in His Word: It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. (Galatians 5:1) It came to me twice.

On Saturday, Brother Cam shared this verse with me and next day during Easter's Sunrise Service, one of the worship songs had this EXACT verse in it. I was telling Sister Huifen, God is awesome. I know Lucifer and his agency of fallen angels are working hard to pull me (as with many others) down, but I am going to "fight" against them because my Lord is with me, with my Lord's strength and empowerment through the Holy Spirit, I shall be more than a conqueror! I will be able to endure and overcome their attacks as I armed myself with the Armour of God! My God will strengthen me. This came as a revelation to me! I shall exercise my faith and trust in God for my recovery and many other areas of my life! Amen!

2) I was working out some issues regarding me and this brother.. I wanted to let go everything in the sense, I do not want to harbour even that little hope that we could reconcile as friend because I had the impression the Lord is saying to me, "Daniel, it is only when you decided to surrender totally to me then will I restore the friendship in my timing and My way." I seemed to hear the Lord telling me- LET GO!

It was a difficult thing to do actually, I had so much emotions attached to him and these months, I knew that finding his blog is not difficult, but not wanting to read it is tough. But I had the impression that the Lord said to me that unless I let go of this ungodly soul tie, I would be walking in circle, round and round and round and never get out of it, I will never, he will never.. So I decided to throw this friendship into the furnace of refining fire of the Holy Ghost, OR it would never be purified!

It may be a week, it may be a year, it may be two years, it may three years, it may be never in this lifetime. God had the perfect answer to everything. But I know one day, we will reconcile at least when we enters into the heavenly gates. I know we will. =)

3) I was searching my heart, hey why am I holding Brother Cam so dear in my heart?

RED alert came on, I got freaked out, fear came in, signposts built up but later on, I just felt that this is a different brotherhood the Lord is placing in my heart with Brother Cam.

Yes, I had a weird dream the other nite, a dream that freaked me out BIG time on Good Friday which made my Good Friday not very good... but as I released this dream unto the Lord, peace of God returns to me.

No fear, no sweat anymore! We also prayed over it and sealed our friendship and brotherhood by the precious blood of Jesus Christ, our Lord, our Redeemer, and our Saviour.

I am very clear in my heart, very very clear, he is my elder brother. I hold him with high esteem, little "fear" (because he is very fierce esp when it comes to some of my "disciplinary" problems, hahaha) and great deal of respect. Much to learn from him and other brothers - i.e. how to be a godly and obedient man in Christ Jesus! =)

I also felt so strongly that Brother Cam and I shared the same bloodline, the precious blood of Jesus. It was a very strong impression in my heart. =) Of course, still got to be vigilant la.

I truly believe this is a brotherhood God ordained and arranged by divine appointment. He is one of the very instrumental brothers in this season of walk with the Lord. He is more than an elder brother, he is an "uncle", a "daddy" and more than that, a quite naggy "preacher" for the Lord. He is also our exhorter, especially for me. He exhorts most if not all of us in the group and everything he did and does is for the glory of God the Father.

Like what brother Cam said: "We may not have the same earthly father.." but truly and surely we have the same Heavenly Abba Father and our blood is not longer our blood but the blood of Jesus who shed for us at Calvary.

Then during worship, I was asking myself, "Dan, why are you so upset?" God then showed me, "Love is not self-seeking." The love here I am talking about is clearly and definitely not eros love (or I wouldnt even dare to blog it with such transparency) hehe... it is phileo love. Let go.. God has a perfect plan and perfect timing for every children of His and there is timing for every season.. Brother Cam is my dear brother. So I learnt to let go le... second time this week... haha...

钦有哥哥，加油。

无论你在那里，我相信圣灵永远将我们弟兄情紧紧地系在一起。

因为我相信

两地暂别离，心系基督里。