Truly Everything, I Give Thanks!

Chaotic thoughts come to me again. So many things happening this week..

Monday - Tuesday
Working in former attachment company as part-timer, meeting many candidates during recruitment from all walks of life are just so exciting. I thank God for giving wonderful manager who is so willing to guide and coach me. I thank God for the great HR team in my company. I thank God for Your provision!!

Something happened in my SG and I, being so emotional, then sent some very harsh smses to a dear brother of mine for ignoring me in the train... then I realised that he was badly wounded inside by that incident. I felt remorseful for being so childish, insensitive and willful. I have sought your forgiveness Brother and I truly know that you've well forgiven me. =) Love you Brother.

I also thank Brother Calvin for sharing about your family issue with me. My tears cant help but to roll down when I heard the painful experience which my beloved brother went through in your life. I truly understand why you could have such faith and patient with us. God has done so much in your life and after going through 10 over years of refining fire, you’ve emerged a precious Gold of our Lord! I salute to you, brother. I truly feel that my struggle and pain are just so insignificant compared to those painful 3,650++ days you’d gone through.

Wednesday
My team, WOW!Solutions met up with Prof Cheryl, Glory be to the Lord for our team's A+ grading for the HR metric project, it's really only by the Lord's grace. Then i went for a swim and had a good time with God.. really had a good nite rest that day. =) Thanks to the Lord! =)

Thursday
I had a wonderful session of letting everything out (my emotional attachment to my dear brother in the group) during our weekly support group (SG) meeting on Thursday.. I believe that this support group will and has grown closer and be more open about our struggles and be accountable to God and brothers in the group after this session.. Let the Will of our Lord be done! =)

It really pained me to see my brothers crying.. Thanks Brother Ramesh and Clive for your sharing. Thanks Brother Cam for being very frank and open in your sharing. Thanks Brother Sean for willing to share your burden with us. Many thanks to Brother Calvin and Brother Daryl for trusting in Jesus, being so patient and steadfast in directing us and pointing us to the Lord during our down time. Thanks Brother Reuben for willing to spend more time with us from now on! I give myself a pat on the shoulder for having the courage (of course, it's definitely by God's GRACE) to share my deep secret, struggles and what I did wrong to my dear brother. We will walk in obedience and relate correctly with philos love for each other from now on, dear bro =)

Friday
I ‘told’ a manager off for pulling rank with me. I looked at him and sternly reminded him that in our organisation, we work as one big family. We should not segregate who belongs to which department and can’t share the resources of the company. His reasoning is loads of rubbish to me! I'm not proud of that... because it just showed that some people in my company have yet learnt to be a true manager. Sad. And I seriously don’t know how come and where I mustered that boldness to tell him off. Scary leh, a part timer/ex-intern doing this to a manager. I recalled this was in fact my first time standing up for something I thought was right. Of course, also because he pulled rank and that irked me big time! Hmm… I am getting really very bold... However, I am not showing insubordination, and interestingly (with great comfort) even my HR manager said I am not in the wrong when I shared this with my HR team. haahaa.. win liaoz =)

“My Child, I want you to surrender every issues, struggles, cares, troubles, unforgiveness, everything to Me and let Me be in full control of your life!”

This seemed to be what the Lord is speaking to me when we sang this song:

I surrender all, I surrender all
All to Thee, my Blessed Savour,
I surrender all

Serene 姐姐 has confirmed that she is taking up that step of faith to do Lord’s Will and she will be enrolling for her theology studies in Trinity Theological College (TTC). I thank and praise Abba Father for her conviction!

I was saddened by what had happened to Amanda Lim (someone I personally don't know but often mentioned by Serene 姐姐). Amanda is little Brian's classmate's mum, and who is in Stage 4 of her cancer. The doctor had sent her packing home, and asked her to spend time with her family. For a moment, my heart went out to a few persons:

The first three person is of course Amanda herself, Amanda’s 7 year old daughter and Amanda’s husband. It pained me so much having to think of a young girl losing her mother. It just caused me so much pain in my heart. God, I plead to You Abba Father, please have mercy on this family and shows to Serene 姐姐 how to bring Amanda to seek divine healing.

Then, I thought of my little cousin Meijiao and my uncle who lost his wife who passed away in her mid 30s sometime last year. The last time I met him was at Uncle Richard’s wedding, he aged very much! So much older and worn out than his actual age. It hurt me so badly when I saw him. I didn’t know what to say to him, but just greeted him and asked how he is doing lately. I withheld my condolences towards him that night because I was loss for words. My heart goes out to you, Uncle. God bless you.

Brother Kiddo came to my mind. I had so much so much to say to you, my dear brother. I know you are very hurt inside because of the loss you experienced. Allow Jesus to enter into your life and heal you of your wounds. I pray in the Loving Name of our Lord Jesus Christ that your heart could invite Jesus into your life through faith and confession soon! We all love you dearly, allow us to have this chance to love you and share your burdens with you, brother.

Saturday
I really had a great time chatting with mum and, yes.. I always enjoy chatting with her. Seeing her tearing today, missing her mum, worrying for me (due to my conversion) and my sister for staying out very late recently, she just broke down in front of me. She had so many emotional burdens in her heart. I am ashamed of my behaviours because I’ve not been spending enough time with my family, especially my beloved mum to share her burdens with her.

I have been so busy with my own activities and neglected my family. I neglected my sister’s well-being, I need to spend more time to talk with her and find out how she is doing. God, I pray that Lord, may You minister to her heart and let her open up to me and allow me to be Your instrument to guide my precious younger sister.

I am glad that the Lord had provided me more time at home lately, and used me to counsel and provide some good insights to my mum about her working issues with her difficult colleagues at workplace. She told me that the relationship has improved, I thank God for ministering to her heart to react positively to her difficult colleagues and willing to heed my advice to reconcile, be patient with them, and handle them with love.

I thank God that she has also begun to be convinced that I am still a precious and that son she loved so dearly, though I am now a reborn in Christ Jesus! I invited her to my church’s Christmas Service, she declined in a gentle tone and said that Dad wouldn’t allow. She asked me to go ahead without them. WOW, I see this as a form of blessings and approval from my mum! Thanks MAMA, I love you.

I also learnt from my mum that my dad has been so proud of me for being awarded the first prize for the first NTU GIP Personal Reflection Essay Competition, that he actually sneakily took the letter that NTU gave me and photocopied. Then, he passed the copies to my relatives and shared his joy with them, of course without letting me know =p. Well, typical of him, he didn’t praise me directly but from his action, I have his affirmation! I thank God for using my mum as an instrument to share this with me. I was thrilled and excited like a little boy who finally know papa really appreciated me. Thank you PAPA. I love you. Little Gary has nothing against you le. =”)

I also thank Brother Richard for 'counseling', analysing my relationship with my dad, comforting me and encouraging me to think from my dad’s point of view too. That night, of course never forgetting the impartation and deliverance from God, many unforgiveness and debts I held against my dad had been broken away and came that GREAT peace from the throne of my ABBA FATHER in Heaven flowing into my heart that night. Brother, you’re instrumental for my heart’s reconciliation towards my dad. Thanks Bro!

I also had a great time gymming with Brother Clive, thanks Bro for spending time with me and the treat to very nice vegetarian food at Original Sin Restaurant in Holland Village. Then we went to meet Brother Calvin and Brother Linus for coffee at Orchard. We talked a lot of things, edifying and some not too edifying things but I believed we have peacefulness within us. It was a great time of fellowship. Thanks Brothers!!

After experiecing, listening to and seeing so many things happening around me, I really give thanks to the Lord. I truly believe God exist and He is the Living God, Creator of Heaven and Earth, my Lord and Saviour! If not by His Grace, we’ll have whither and faded away in our sinful selves.

Thank You Lord for everything, truly everything.