After I've written a few of my brothers and sister a SOS email to pray for deliverance from my emotional agony these few days, I went to lie down on my bed.. I cried so badly...
I felt that the Holy Spirit is convicting me and stirring my heart... Tears just flowed down uncontrollably. Then I was praying: " Holy Spirit, Lord, PLEASE stop convicting me. I cant stand it anymore!!"
I sms-ed to Brother Calvin for prayer and Brother Linus for his forgiveness..
Then I was soooo tired.. so tired.. My prayer request last nite was only not to have any nightmare come haunting me.. And praise the Lord, no nightmare and I slept quite well.. =)
This morning when I woke up, I felt that the load has been relinquished from my heart. I thank God for that..
I know what is coming is not going to be easy because when we're walking out of Egypt there is alot of hurdles and obstacles, but God taught me in the book of Exodus two things:
1. In Exodus 6:6-7, The Lord said "I am the Lord, and I will bring you out from the yoke of the Egyptians. I will free you from being slaves to them, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgment. I will take you as my own people, and I will be your God. Then you will know that I am the Lord your God, who brought you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians."
2. Then in Exodus 14:13-14, The Lord instructed Moses to say to the Israelites "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance of the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."
I am very comforted when the Holy Spirit led me to write this blog and showed me these two verses during my downtime. I know the Lord has promised deliverance to me but I am simply impatient and do not want to be still and wait. But indeed, I will wait patiently and be still before my God Father for His deliverance upon my struggles, my issues, my pains and my sufferings.
Brothers and Sisters in Christ, please keep me in prayer, I just ask for one thing from the Lord as He promised in John 14:27. I pray for peace in my mind and my heart. Jesus said "Peace, I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." The context is that Lord Jesus, before His death, ressurection and ascension to Heaven, He already promised the Holy Spirit to us to be our Counsellor and Teacher of Truth.
The Church Membership Manual of the Methodist Church in Singapore taught me one thing in Chapter 6 that the Holy Spirit will gently show us the areas of our lives that need transforming. Lord Jesus Himself said that the Holy Spirit would "convict the world of sin" (John 16:8-11). The Holy Spirit points out our weaknesses to help us, not to condemn us.
When our minds are filled with accusing and condemning thoughts for our mistakes committed, we know for sure it is not the work of the Holy Spirit. It is our own anger at ourselves or the work of the devil.
One more comforting thing that the Lord has shown me is that we would still sin as long as we live in our flesh BUT the Holy Spirit in us continues to transform our lives day by day. Because of the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, we should be growing to be more like Christ with each day. =) I am comforted to read this.
All I pray for now is the peace of God to be with me and I would be able to focus on Jesus and be sensitive to the Holy Spirit's prompting. Let no guilt or shame dwell in me for the Holy Spirit has already made His dwelllings in me, how could things of the darkside coexist with God?! =)
Glory and praise be to God!
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