Monday
Had a short chat with Brother Cam Yew, haha.. he ar.. quite adorable sometimes.. He went to visit his housemate who just gave birth to a baby boy.. heee.. He was so happy and keept smiling (yes I could sense it) until I thought he has his own baby wor.. But I know he simply love kids.. =) Brother said he wants to have 5 kids wor with his wife in the future.. haha.. that's nice.. He will make a good and godly father. =) As the Lord will, I am sure in near future, he will has a blissful marriage and starts his own family. I am convicted. =)
And Brother Cam agreed to go watch Impresario with me.. hee.. like what Chun Rong said, Brother Cam is a great supporter of my activities.. Haha.. So sweet of him.. Well, of cos, I'm not one of the talentime contestants haha.. too bad... haha.. But whatever la, thanks Brother Cam! keke...
Tuesday
Had pasta feast with Chun Rong on Tuesday at Pasta Fresca, Bukit Timah Road!! The person serving there is abit too 'Friendly' Oh man, wondered if he got issue is it.. kekek.. Anyways, the PASTA is Super Yummy! And that's most important!! Thanks for the treat.. Then we had Ah Balling 汤圆.. I never like 汤圆 wor.. But this clementi central ah balling 汤圆 is really yummy.. haha.. :p Then then.. that's not all.. We had TWO BIG servings of D24 durian keke!! Slurp!!! It's Chun Rong's favourite fruit.. haha and and.. I insisted that we should have it even though we're very FULL
**FAT**
Hmm.. yah.. that's all for dinner.. =p keke..
Had a good MSN conversation with Aikit, hee.. Glad that I was used by the Lord to give her some advice on her intention to do mission work in Thailand.. In a nutshell, she took the advice to come clean with her parents who are pre-believers and might be worried about her going to Thailand to do mission work. At the end of the day, she had peace in her heart, after talking to her parents, no argument, but no approval also. She also respected her parents' decision and took up a local mission work. Praise be to God for her obedient and teachable heart. =)
Sister Aikit, I think you've witnessed a wonderful testimony to your parents what true Christian living is like. =) Praise be to God.
Had a very nice chat with Sunny, though he was not happy with his project team but actually who WOULDN'T be happier after chatting with me.. haha.. *joking*
Had a short chat with Brother Cam Yew, haha.. he ar.. quite adorable sometimes.. He went to visit his housemate who just gave birth to a baby boy.. heee.. He was so happy and keept smiling (yes I could sense it) until I thought he has his own baby wor.. But I know he simply love kids.. =) Brother said he wants to have 5 kids wor with his wife in the future.. haha.. that's nice.. He will make a good and godly father. =) As the Lord will, I am sure in near future, he will has a blissful marriage and starts his own family. I am convicted. =)
And Brother Cam agreed to go watch Impresario with me.. hee.. like what Chun Rong said, Brother Cam is a great supporter of my activities.. Haha.. So sweet of him.. Well, of cos, I'm not one of the talentime contestants haha.. too bad... haha.. But whatever la, thanks Brother Cam! keke...
Tuesday
Had pasta feast with Chun Rong on Tuesday at Pasta Fresca, Bukit Timah Road!! The person serving there is abit too 'Friendly' Oh man, wondered if he got issue is it.. kekek.. Anyways, the PASTA is Super Yummy! And that's most important!! Thanks for the treat.. Then we had Ah Balling 汤圆.. I never like 汤圆 wor.. But this clementi central ah balling 汤圆 is really yummy.. haha.. :p Then then.. that's not all.. We had TWO BIG servings of D24 durian keke!! Slurp!!! It's Chun Rong's favourite fruit.. haha and and.. I insisted that we should have it even though we're very FULL
**FAT**
Hmm.. yah.. that's all for dinner.. =p keke..
Had a good MSN conversation with Aikit, hee.. Glad that I was used by the Lord to give her some advice on her intention to do mission work in Thailand.. In a nutshell, she took the advice to come clean with her parents who are pre-believers and might be worried about her going to Thailand to do mission work. At the end of the day, she had peace in her heart, after talking to her parents, no argument, but no approval also. She also respected her parents' decision and took up a local mission work. Praise be to God for her obedient and teachable heart. =)
Sister Aikit, I think you've witnessed a wonderful testimony to your parents what true Christian living is like. =) Praise be to God.
Had a very nice chat with Sunny, though he was not happy with his project team but actually who WOULDN'T be happier after chatting with me.. haha.. *joking*
I also apologised to this beloved brother for taking him for granted. Initially I didnt ask him along to Impresario, instead I go around asking my SG brothers first.. Ended up, he called to ask if I wanted to go. :'( I am sorry, Sunny. I knew he was not upset with me but I am certain that he won't feel good inside. Why I didnt ask him first, because I simply assumed that he would sure go when I ask him because he is a close friend.. But that's not the point ya.. Precisely because he is a close pal, I should have asked him first hor..
Sunny, I promise I wouldnt take you for granted anymore.. k? Sorry hor.. =)
Wednesday
I must commend Deli Apprecio Club for the job well down for the chocolate Fest. It was very very very well-done.. I enjoyed the specialty chocolate esp the Lemon Chocolate and my favourite -- GREEN TEA chocolate oh man it was heavenly!!, I enjoyed the fondue -- mashmallow coated with delicious chocolate.. simply heavenly!
Great job, Ade, Daniel, Sam, and gang in Deli Apprecio.. =)
Thursday
Last night, at support group, I was quite down emotionally - filled with guilt, shame and longing to see a brother.. and coupled with fever (due to the durians and chocolates.. and I know mum would be so upset with me again.. sob), headache and flu.. the feeling was unbearable.. I was sad because three brothers left the support group.. :'(
Happy to see Brother James.. =) He was so kind to come back to COOS to help out Brother Shawn.. keke.. and that Shawn huh... gotto term him a "busybody" keke.. so bad of him... =p
Saw that Brother Chun Rong and Brother Ramesh not doing too well also aggravate my condition but thanks be to God.. Brother Spidey, Brother Daryl, Brother Reuben and Brother Cam Yew saved the day with their jokes.. keke..
So glad to see Brother Richie at support group.. He came to clarify why he wanted to quit support group but I am convicted that he will return, he will return!! I heard the way he poured out his frustration, I felt the pain in me too.. I was very sad for him, apart from praying what can I do for him? :(
God, please have mercy on Richie! Please..
After Support Group, Brother Richie insisted that he would want to drive me back home cos I was pretty unwell.. Very sweet of him.. Of cos, he also drove Brother Reuben and Anneh home while Brother Cam drove Brother Spidey, Brother Daryl and Brother Sean home.. =)
Thanks brothers.. =)
Friday
This morning I woke up very unwell still, what's worse, I had a nightmare... Is the Lord telling me something huh?! Holy Spirit, please guide me..
This morning, I cried again. Haiz.. When will I get out of this.. :'(
BUT the Lord is good, he had many people sending me sms-es to see if I'm feeling better. Thanks brothers and sisters.. =)
Anyway, time to go to Covenant Vision Centre to have fellowship with God and his people. Looking forward to see 哥哥，姐姐, Brother David and little Brian.. haha..
Sunny, I promise I wouldnt take you for granted anymore.. k? Sorry hor.. =)
Wednesday
I must commend Deli Apprecio Club for the job well down for the chocolate Fest. It was very very very well-done.. I enjoyed the specialty chocolate esp the Lemon Chocolate and my favourite -- GREEN TEA chocolate oh man it was heavenly!!, I enjoyed the fondue -- mashmallow coated with delicious chocolate.. simply heavenly!
Great job, Ade, Daniel, Sam, and gang in Deli Apprecio.. =)
Thursday
Last night, at support group, I was quite down emotionally - filled with guilt, shame and longing to see a brother.. and coupled with fever (due to the durians and chocolates.. and I know mum would be so upset with me again.. sob), headache and flu.. the feeling was unbearable.. I was sad because three brothers left the support group.. :'(
Happy to see Brother James.. =) He was so kind to come back to COOS to help out Brother Shawn.. keke.. and that Shawn huh... gotto term him a "busybody" keke.. so bad of him... =p
Saw that Brother Chun Rong and Brother Ramesh not doing too well also aggravate my condition but thanks be to God.. Brother Spidey, Brother Daryl, Brother Reuben and Brother Cam Yew saved the day with their jokes.. keke..
So glad to see Brother Richie at support group.. He came to clarify why he wanted to quit support group but I am convicted that he will return, he will return!! I heard the way he poured out his frustration, I felt the pain in me too.. I was very sad for him, apart from praying what can I do for him? :(
God, please have mercy on Richie! Please..
After Support Group, Brother Richie insisted that he would want to drive me back home cos I was pretty unwell.. Very sweet of him.. Of cos, he also drove Brother Reuben and Anneh home while Brother Cam drove Brother Spidey, Brother Daryl and Brother Sean home.. =)
Thanks brothers.. =)
Friday
This morning I woke up very unwell still, what's worse, I had a nightmare... Is the Lord telling me something huh?! Holy Spirit, please guide me..
This morning, I cried again. Haiz.. When will I get out of this.. :'(
BUT the Lord is good, he had many people sending me sms-es to see if I'm feeling better. Thanks brothers and sisters.. =)
Anyway, time to go to Covenant Vision Centre to have fellowship with God and his people. Looking forward to see 哥哥，姐姐, Brother David and little Brian.. haha..
May tomorrow be a better tomorrow.. =)
Ciao
Praise be to God.
2 comments:
Daniel, reading this post stirred up feelings and memories for me.
I remember when I was still a young Christian, attending Nyack College, A Christian college where I studied to be a missionary.
I felt so gripped by my struggles at that time. I remembered amazing times of prayers when I would take my hymnal and sing my heart out to the Lord. I fed myself with God's word and spoke to my friends about my struggles.
Yet, they always seemed to come back. I felt horrified when I experienced attraction towards another Christian, a dear friend in a Lord. The guilt would overwhelm me and drive me to God and to others for help.
I finally found out about a support group in New York City, about 40 Km away. It may be similar to yours. Each week we gathered for a meal, worship, teaching and fellowship. What a relief to speak openly about my struggles with others who understood, who have gone on much longer than I.
It was there that I met Sy Rogers and felt inspired by his personal testimony. I still remember when I talked to him, with tears running down my face wondering if I could ever be faithful to Jesus.
Then I would hit a patch of good times, when I felt strong in the Lord and I live above my temptations. At those times it felt like I could never fall again, that I had finally figured it out and broke through. I also felt fear that it would all fall apart with one word or perhaps a suggestion or some pride.
When I fell, then I hit dispair and wondered if I would ever recover, ever be good again, ever please God.
Why did I struggle so when my friends seemed to have such simple problems? Why couldn't I be normal like them? Why did I feel so insesurce in my self and worry so much about my body? Why, inspite of all the prayer and fasting and studying and support it seemed that I would end up back in the same place, the prodigal begging Father for forgiveness, "Please take me back!"
Those were dark days, and I am surprised I survived them. (I know people who did not).
Daniel, I see your heart, your longing, your sincerity. I pray for you regularly that you will find your way.
Eye has not seen, ear has not heard, neither has it entered into the heart of man what God has prepared for those who love him. And you Daniel, love him.
Peterson
Thanks Brother Peterson, I've received your email on Brokeback Mountain.
I've decided not to watch that movie, not for the sake of men, but for the glory of the Lord. For the joy of the Lord is our strength (Nehemiah 8:10)
God bless you and your walk with Him. Stay close to Him too, don't let go of His grips.
The Lord wouldn't let go, so you don't let go of him too!!
I am praying for you too.
Shalom.
Daniel
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