Cherish life, cherish every moment of your life

I realised that I've not blogged for a long time..

The last entry was "What a wrecked life I have"

These weeks, I've been so busy with work.. reached office at 6:30am and left office at 12:30midnite.. quite no life.. had so much work (very heavy workload).. :(

I don't know if this is of the Lord to stay in this organisation.. my life is entirely wrecked.. I think my old ailment of not wanting to communicate with people is back.. there's no way for me to destress except to sleep.. so I halted all my personal life.. I don't meet friends, I don't participate in Baptism and Membership class, I decline helping in Alpha, I stopped attending men's group, I stopped attending Masterlife class.. I also stopped going to PMC for service.. I just want to be a wandering soul.. go church visiting..

I reallie don't want people to ask me how I'm doing etc etc.. very vexed... I just want to be a lone ranger fo the time being.. at work, I've phonecalls coming in non-stop, candidates calling for enquiry or change of PEO dates... secretaries calling to ask for interview documents so that they candidates could meet with the VPs/Directors, the VP, directors, managers calling to check hiring status... like as if I'm a superman... I hated my work so badly now because I'm just like a server -- generating reports for people day in day out.. bringing candidates, making offers... even making offers don't excite me and it has become a chore to me..

WHY WHY WHY!?!

Anyway, I learnt to let go and not be "nice" anymore.. no more smiles!! A VP commented that I'm not smiley anymore and ask how he could increase my productivity so that I don't have to work until so late everyday.. seriously, I find it very ironic.. I don't know how to answer his question, I just kept quiet... and shook my head... no comment..

The only thing I want to do is to sleep.. to forget about all my troubles.. alot of people find that I'm very unstable. It's a matter of time I leave the organisation if I've exhausted the last straw to talk with my director when she's back, and to no avail..

After career fair today, I went to watch movie with Min Min.. I laughed my heart out until pengz as we watched "Just follow law".. I've not been so happy for a long long while.. but when I reached home and recollect all the things I've been through the last 3 months since December 2006.. my mood just reverted to my "closet" self again..

By the way, life is short.. my director's dad passed away suddenly over this week.. came as a big blow to my boss.. attended the wake of my JC mate's dad who passed away just before CNY, my aunt's father-in-law also died shortly (without apparent cause of death) after my granny's death.. life is very unpredictable, so fragile.. life is beyond our control.. so what if i'm earning quite a fair bit of $$ right now?

There's no joy and peace in my life.. I want more quality time with my family and loved ones.. No one knows what's there for anyone tomorrow.. My body has been haywired lately.. who knows which day the Lord will bring me home..

Cherish life, cherish every moment of your life..

God bless you!