A year of ups and downs..
A year of plentiful.. thanks be to God
A year of healing..
A year of learning to enter into the very presence of God.. through public and private worship.. through reflections.. do you know how awesome it is to be in the presence of Father God who is so majesty yet so loving...
A year of striving and then resting in the love of God..
My Spiritual Journey
One important lesson I walked away with is my identity as a child of God. I am a child of God, of infinite worth and value in the eyes of God Eternal..
Because I am in Christ, I need not strive to seek love becaused I am already loved by the Everlasting Father who loves me with an everlasting love in Christ Jesus. He calls me Beloved. God has set me in a community of love and faith with brothers and sisters in Christ loving and caring for each other. Though we may be imperfect but it's a good glimpse of what is to come..
The year started in a bad note. I decided on Chinese New Year Service that I would leave Pentecost Methodist Church for a while because I was having some issues which I can't resolve... God did not penalise me (full of mercy and full of grace), in fact, He led me to Riverlife Church where I am nourished by the Living Water.
The very first day I attended Riverlife service, it was the start of Old Testament Challenge. At Riverlife, I learnt solitude while attending Old Testament Challenge. I am so richly blessed.
Also, facing with many heart issues, I ran away from many people.. I experienced betrayal and rejections..
I began doing alot of things alone. The experience of being alone initially sux big time... but gradually God led me into a very different experience.. when the scales of my eyes fell, my spiritual eyes opened, my spiritual ear wax removed and my heart become very much sensitive to God.
I quote from Henri Nouwen about being alone:
"The question (of being alone) is whether we let our aloneness become loneliness or whether we allow it to lead us into solitude. Loneliness is painful; solitude is peaceful. Loneliness makes us cling to others in desperation; solitude allows us to respect others in their uniqueness and create community."
Today, I begin to understand what Henri Nouwen meant by moving from Solitude to Community to Ministry (which was affirmed by my spiritual daddy - brother Chin Nam this afternoon at our Christmas luncheon).
It is at that time of solitude, I learnt the art of being - being His Beloved. With this assurance, I moved by God back into the community this time to love and be loved. The Love of God blesses me, that I now have the eyes to see the blessedness of others in my community of faith and love where I then be used by God to minister to His people through Choices Discipleship & Prayer Group, Alpha Ministry, my small group and even being used in the Christmas Even Musical Experience - even to see my own loved one being saved. My beloved aunt accepted the LORD at Pentecost Methodist Church Christmas Even Musical. Glory be to God. =)
Matter of factly, I drew closer to God while enjoying solitude. I am able to come into the very presence of God, worshipping Him and being in communion with the Godhead at very intimate level. The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard my heart and mind through Christ Jesus
I also attended Riverlife Church Camp alone at KL in June. At Riverlife Church Camp - Camp Oasis, I understood alot about the book of Malachi. The biggest takeaway from Camp Oasis was the response to this question: "What do you get for serving God?" I love the response: "GOD". Amen. I love this response.
I attended 2 very powerful seminars conducted by Sy Rogers - previously serving in Choices Ministry and Pastor Peter Tsukahira from Israel Mt Carmel School of Ministry. Indeed I am very blessed by their teachings.
Sy Rogers is a great source of encouragement to my own recovery and I was once again assured by God through Sy that recovery is possible because with God, nothing is impossible (Luke 1:37).
Ps Tsukahira taught extensively on "Israel and its endtime prophecy". The teaching is so good. I was so moved and in awe by God's hands upon Israel today. Continue to pray for the peace of Jerusalem.
Pray for the peace of Jerusalem; they shall prosper that love thee. (Psalm 122:6)
Also, second half of the year, I attended Choices Discipleship Class conducted by Sister Sandra Moo and Ps Moi Lee from Fountain Gates Ministries. Very blessed indeed. From the discipleship, I learnt a great deal on healing, my identity in Christ. I also learnt much about holy reading: Lectio Divina.
Lectio Divina is Latin for divine reading, spiritual reading, or "holy reading," and represents a method of prayer and scriptural reading intended to engender communion with the Triune God and to provide special spiritual insights. It is a way of praying with Scripture that calls one to study, ponder, listen and, finally, pray from God's Word.
My Work
I am very busy as usual, very occupied with lotsa deadlines and challenging assignments. I learnt alot from my Vice President, Director and my new Section Manager. I am also moved from recruitment to do Organisation Development, Manpower Planning and Compensation & Benefits. I am very blessed to be under the mentorship of Cher Whee, my HR Director, who took the risk to bring me from Recruitment to Manpower Planning and C&B - bearing the risk that I might resign because at that times, it's really like fitting a trigular cube into a circular hole. I hated number crunching.. And she has to move me into a job doing analysis day and night... I really dreaded my work then..
But thanks be to my loving Father in Heaven who has seen me through that dark moments of my life. Of course, today I thank God for Cher Whee's faith that I can make it and will make it.. I am not there yet but at least I can stand up and say confidently that let's try figure out together.. :) Looking back, it was so tough but it's so therapautic because I passed the test, not by might, nor by strength but by His Spirit and truly His Strength is made perfect in my weakness. In my time of weakness, God brought me into solitude, He revealed Himself so tangibly to me and He taught me to look to Him. In Him alone can I entrust and cast all my burdens to Him. He saw me through and He will continue to see me through in the future.
I really count my blessings. I am so blessed financially by the Lord. I am able to go for a Korean trip without having to worry that I will not have enough to spend when I return. It's a season of more than enough and I give all glory to God. What I am receiving today are truly blessings from the Lord. I thank God from the very bottom of my heart that He is Jehovah Jireh - the God Who sees into the future and supplies all my needs. Praise, Glory and Honour be to God.
My Struggles
Of course, not everything is rosy.. though my area of struggle - same-sex attraction is being worked out(Praise be to God), the carnal part of me still needs alot of "taming". My quiet time can be much much better...
As cliche as it may sound, sanctification - the path of holy living is a journey, a lifelong journey. I am "not very concerned" about where I am today as I told Calvin.
Alot of times we have so much about doing, we really need to practice the art of being His Beloved.
It's when we stop striving, that we are able to receive because our hands are empty.
I am not suggesting that we cheapen the grace of God or God's grace is the passport for us to do all the wrong things but I have true assurance that I am God's beloved, regardless of my doings. It's not my deeds that will determine my final destiny, it's my relationship with Jesus Christ who laid aside His Majesty in Heaven, came to suffer in the hands of those He created that I may be reconciled back to the Father through His finished work on the Cross.
I learn from Yoke Lin, I will ask God for more grace each day and that His strength will be perfected in my weakness. I will walk this journey of faith with Holy Spirit as my Counsellor who will lead me into being true disciple of Jesus Christ.
One thing I "strive" to do better in 2008:
To be at peace with God - which simply means I stop striving in my doing, and start to move into being His darling Daniel boy whom He dearly loves and calls as Beloved. :)
Start being - come into the presence of our Father in Heaven with our hands opened to Him... =)
For Jesus said, "IT IS FINISHED".
The LORD bless you and keep you;
The LORD make His face shine upon you, and be gracious to you;
The LORD lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace.
Thanks for sharing my life with me in 2007.. Thanks for being around for me to love me and care for me..
I look forward to continue this journey with you in 2008.
Be blessed,
Danielgoh
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